Girls Age,,... What a Diffrence ..........!

What is the difference
between girls aged:

8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?

At 8 - You take her to bed
and tell her a story.

At 18 - You tell her a story
and take her to bed.

At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story
to take her to bed.

At 38 - She tells you a story
and takes you to bed.

At 48 - You tell her a story
to avoid going to bed.

At 58 - You stay in bed
to avoid her story.

At 68 - If you take her to bed,
that'll be a story!!

TWO ENVIORNMENTS

In case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.

@ PRISON

You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell

@ WORK

You spend most of your time in an 6X6 cubicle

@ PRISON

You get three meals a day, fully paid for

@ WORK

You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it

@ PRISON

For good behavior, you get time off

@ WORK

For good behavior, you get more work

@ PRISON

The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you

@ WORK

You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself

@ PRISON

You can watch TV and play games

@ WORK

You could get fired for watching TV and playing games

@ PRISON

You get your own toilet

@ WORK

You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat

@ PRISON

They allow your family and friends to visit

@ WORK

You aren't even supposed to speak to your family

@ PRISON

All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required

@ WORK

You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners

@ PRISON

You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out

@ WORK

You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

@ PRISON

You must deal with sadistic wardens

@ WORK

They are called 'managers'

FEMALE SOFTWARE

Female Software Programming ( Computer Humor )


Struct female_professional s
{double styles;
Short skirts;
Long time_to_understand_ problems;float mind;
Void knowledge;
Char non_co-operative; }


Struct married_females
{double weight;
Short tempered;
Long gossip;
Float hopes;
Void word;
Char unstable;}


Struct engaged_females
{double time_on_phone;
Short attention_on_ work;
Long boast;
Float on_cloud_nine;
Void understanding;
Char edgy;}


Struct newly_married_ females
{double dinner_invitation;
Short time_at_work;
Long lunch_break;
Void bank_balance;
Char hen_pecked;}


Struct husband_wife_ professionals
{double income;
Short tempered;
Long time_no_see_ each_other;
Void love_life;
Char money_making; }


Struct beautiful_city_ girl
{double boyfriends;
Short affairs;
Long stories;
Void greymatter;
Char flirt;}


Struct old_lady
{double chin;
Short memory;
Long sighs ;
Void attention_from_ men;
Char chatterbox;}

Doggyyyyyy

Nature Undiscovered

NASA's picture of WATER on MARS--

Oh my God its damn creativity , really funny

Sand Sculptures .....== marvelous art wok

MUMMY comes again to scare the SILVERSCREEN nw d Action hero Jet-li to
surely its really gonna rock the world ...lets wait 4 d release

Ghajini

Hollywood new film Ghajini starring Amir Khan comes in the role of Surya, Asin plays her own role and Jiah Khan plays the role of Nayanthara

PLEASE .......DON'T

Fate is cruel he wont mind what we are doing

Miss Universe 2008

Password

A SHORT STORY

Ramya was about to leave office after finishing her work. She got
a call from her husband Karthi,

RAMYA(R): "Hello, yes Karthi".


KARTHI(K): "Ramya, can you open my gmail and get a print out of
the mail from that USconsultant I forgot to take it in my
office"


(R): "Yes, I can, I need your password"
(K): "jeni22091980"
(R): "Ok fine"



She takes the print out and logs out. Some thought struck her
mind now.
JENI happens to be his college mate. Hmmm...



She decides not to discuss this with Karthi. She simply opens
her mail box and changes the password from "mohan143" to
"karthiramya" and leaves for home!



MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!

Boss Kidnapped

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around.
Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....

Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire
about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"

They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going
to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.

We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."

One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"About 1 litre."

Time 4 a little Philosohy

"Opinions are like hand watches.


Everyone's watch shows different time from others.


But,


Everyone believes that their time is correct."

A Little Fun Time

1. Lady: Is this my train?

Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this
train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.


2. A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the
gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,
order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll
have a scotch and soda."

3. Little Susie came running into the house after school one
day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in
math's and 20 in science."

4. Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to
Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

NOT MY JOB AWARD -2007

The National Award for "Not My Job" declared and the award goes for
.......
.......

'The HIGHWAY Department'

Sculptures -----Beautiful

What do you think it is ?
well they are carved out of water melon look how beautiful it is

The Beauty of Life does not only depends on how happy you are... But also how happy others can be...Because of You!!!

If Inflation does not stop

With HP Evry thing is possible................funny

WITH HP EVRY THING IS POSSIBLE >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



1. U can use it as a chair
2. U can use it as a nut cracker................

And more YES with HP everything is possible

ICICI Defaulters

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!'

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, 'Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?'

'No, sweetheart,' she responds.


Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, 'Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master Card balance yet?'

'Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,' she says.

'One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the ICICI auto loan to them this month?' he asks.

'Oh, forgive me, Rajiv,' begged Mona. 'I didn't send that one, either.'


Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, 'So, why did you hug me?'

Rajiv answers, 'They'll find us!'

Good Morning

The night is quiet and still peace seems to fill the land The sun will make it's way at the voice of His command Dawn has already broken a new day awaits all Everyday of each year spring, summer, winter and fall Many Good Wishes as you arise on this day May it be full of blessings is what I solemnly Pray… Have a Great Day!!!

Awesome Pencil Art

This is a pencil art------------------ Can U believe ?

GREAT RESCUE MISSION >>> awesome

Here is a great rescue mission by two boys

HOW TO FACE PROBLEMS.................

Problems may come but u must take it as a "ROYAL CHALLENGE"

Otherwise people will call u an " OLD MONK"

And stick a " BLACK LABEL"

on

u.

But u must fight like "NAPOLEAN ",

Live like a " BAGPIPER",

Strut around like "JHONNY WALKER",

Work till "8PM",

Think like a "DIRECTOR SPECIAL"

.

....And do not forget the cute little "BLACK DOG"

Then your life will be like an "IMPERIAL BLUE "

And if you do

all of the

above

,

it

will

ad

d value for your " SIGNATURE" .....

! ! ! Cheers ! ! !

HAVE A GREAT WEEK AHEAD!!!

Indias Genious Boy

A year ago a footage emerged from a remote village in

India . The video showed a young girl receiving surgery to separate her fingers, which were badly burned and fused together. Why did this operation make headlines around the world? The surgery was performed by a 7-year-old boy named Akrit Jaswal.

Now 13 years old, Akrit has an IQ of 146 and is considered the smartest person his age in India -a country of more than a billion people. Before Akrit could even speak, his parents say they knew he was special.

'He learned very fast,' says Raksha, Akrit's mother. 'After learning the alphabet, we started to teach him joining of words, and he started writing as well. He was two.'

At an age when most children are learning their ABCs, Akrit was reading Shakespeare and assembling a library of medical textbooks. When he was 5 years old, he enrolled in school. One year later, Akrit was teaching English and math classes.

Akrit developed a passion for science and anatomy at an early age. Doctors at local hospitals took notice and started allowing him to observe surgeries when he was 6 years old. Inspired by what he saw, Akrit read everything he could on the topic. When an impoverished family heard about his amazing abilities, they asked if he would operate on their daughter for free. Her surgery was a successAfter the surgery, Akrit was hailed as a medical genius in India . Neighbors and strangers flocked to him for advice and treatment. At age 11, Akrit was admitted to Punjab University .. He's the youngest student ever to attend an Indian university. That same year, he was also invited to London 's famed Imperial College to exchange ideas with scientists on the cutting edge of medical research.

Akrit says he has millions of medical ideas, but he's currently focused on developing a cure for cancer. 'I've developed a concept called oral gene therapy on the basis of my research and my theories,' he says. 'I'm quite dedicated towards working on this mechanism.'

Growing up, Akrit says he used to see cancer patients lying on the side of the road because they couldn't afford treatment or hospitals had no space for them. Now, he wants to use his intellect to ease their suffering. '[I've been] going to hospitals since the age of 6, so I have seen firsthand people suffering from pain,' he says. 'I get very sad, and so that's the main motive of my passion about medicine, my passion about cancer.'

Currently, Akrit is working toward a bachelor's degrees in zoology, botany and chemistry. Someday, he hopes to continue his studies at Harvard University .

if u dont believe it just type "international symbol of marriage" in google n search for images...... ......... ......... ......... for those who are not getting what's in the hand of man ............ ......... .......it is creditcard.

__._,_.___

CRIME IMPLEMENTATION ANALYST

Name: Pakya Bhai Supariwala

Objective:

To obtain a challenging position as a Crime Implementation Analyst (CIA)

Education:

- B.S. (Crime Technology) Tihar Jail, India, August 1994
- M.S. (Criminal Sciences) Virginia Prison for International Smugglers and the Unlawful Activists(VPISUA) , August 1996.

Thesis:

'On escaping from high security prisons like Alcatraz with minimal efforts'

Coursework:

Cop Psychology, Plastic Explosives Technology, Bomb Controls and Timer Device Theory, International Smuggling and Drug Trafficking, Object Oriented Crime Design

Work Experience:

- Research Assistant, LTTE Labs, Jaffna, Aug 1990 - Aug 1991
- Worked on the prestigious Belt Bomb project
- Developed instant death cyanide capsules in orange, strawberry; and mint flavors (Patent No. 007,13,666)

Summer Internship:

Dawood Ibrahim and Haji Mastan Associates, Bombay, June1987 - July1990
- Worked as a hitman and was responsible for many supari style killings
- Participated in election rigging in Bihar and made hafta Collections

Honors and Achievements:

- Won 1980 Gabbar Singh Memorial Award (given to child prodigies in crime)
- Member, IPKF (Indian Professional Killers Forum) student chapter
- Performer of the year in 2004 General Elections in Bihar and U.P.
- Strong hold on Govt. and NGOs.
- Specialized in extortion, illegal construction business and fake academic degree supply.

References:

- Dr. Charles Sobhraj, Full Time Prof., Tihar Jail, New Delhi
- Dr. Chandra Swamy, Visiting Faculty Tihar Jail, New Delhi
- Dr. Dawood Ibrahim, Overseas Projects Manager, Dubai

Articles used by Indira Gandhi

These are the articles which were used by Indira Gandhi, her sandals,bag,and her saree. We can also see the blood stains......

WONDER.......................... Is It?


Not at all. ..................... WHY?


The supply tap is there hidden beneath the heavy water beam flowing down.

FUNNY EVOLUTION

PAUL

PAUL'S TEACHER SENT A NOTE HOME TO HIS MOTHER, SAYING;

"Paul seems to be a very bright boy,
but spends too much of his time thinking about girls."

THE MOTHER WROTE BACK THE NEXT DAY:

"If you find a solution please advice.
I have the same problem with his 'FATHER'."

Gods must be crazy

When i was young, i used to pray for a bike...............................................

then i realized that GOD doesn't WORK that day


So i stole a bike and prayed for FORGIVENESS

Gangsters Son

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
"Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours ----> BUT I NEVER TOLD THEM ANYTHING!!"